I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It was like getting head from an anaconda
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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