I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
