covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he thought i was a dude.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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