I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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