OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
