lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
