Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
