i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
