What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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