its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
