I think I just saw someone hide a body.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
