I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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