Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
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