Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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