grandma shit on top of the toilet
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
this is an emotional support booty call
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
