some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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