Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
