Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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