After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He kissed a someone with a penis
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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