Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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