I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
