pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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