I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
