I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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