omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Welp...herpes.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I have post one night stand depression
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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