i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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