He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
