i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
