I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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