I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
