I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize