summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
