That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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