My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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