The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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