hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My pussy is not your playground.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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