She announced her abortion via fbk
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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