R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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