it was like eating out sand paper
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
