pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
