Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
