Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
