i would punch a child for taco bell
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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