He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize