let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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