Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
