Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
