just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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