At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
