on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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