just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
