After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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