I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I looked at my own cervix.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
