I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
