He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
