Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
