guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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