Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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