So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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