i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
