i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
