her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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