Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
