where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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