I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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