So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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