If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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