I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
