i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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