Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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