How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
