I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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