I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
