Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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