Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
