as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
