Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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