One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
