Nicole vs. Life
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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