fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
