dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
