Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
