perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
